Sally Apokedak, a
participant of the Christian Science Fiction and Fantasy Blog Tour, recently
published a blog titled, Contract With the Reader in which she challenges others to submit the first 150 words of their story’s opening.
The purpose is to allow peers to review and critique the writing from the
perspective of whether or not they fulfill the ‘contract with the reader.’ Unfortunately,
the blog does not provide a precise definition of what that contract is. Rebecca Luella Miller
responds in a comment, "If I’m understanding correctly, the contract is
more about tone, character, and conflict."
What is this contract? Ed
McBain (an accomplished author whom Stephen King thought highly of, and that’s saying something) wrote an article, Nature of the Beast, in which he delineates what he
means by a contract with the reader, and is well worth a look. He states the
contract as follows:
I know all the rules of mystery writing, and I
promise that I will observe them so long as they provide a novel that
will keep you fascinated, intrigued, and entertained. If they get in the
way of that basic need, I'll either bend the rules or break them, but I
will never cheat the reader. Never.
He goes on to explain how
that contract works from the perspective of a mystery writer, that is, what it
will take for him to keep the reader “fascinated, intrigued, and entertained.”
It was interesting to read
the observations made on Sally’s post in response to the several 150-word entries, and it
seems to me that most of them were off point. They questioned POV (too
omniscient for some), were preoccupied with whether or not the reader could discern the genre, made
judgments about the pace the story would likely take on, worried over bringing
the character to life, and so on.
I think it is much ado about
nothing. Now, I’m not disparaging the importance of the opening, the initial
paragraph(s) of a story. They are extremely important. Really, they’re a matter
of life or death, figuratively speaking, of course.
What must they do?
Hook by intrigue. Whatever
the purpose the author may be investing in these initial lines for the rest of the story, they must above all intrigue the reader. In contradistinction to the concerns
expressed by many over the 150 word entries, intrigue is not dependant on
signaling what kind of story you’re getting into, introducing the protagonist
or antagonist, promising action and fast pace, jerking the heart strings, and
so on. It is simply coherent writing that begins a story from point zero, where
absolutely nothing is known, and creating an impression that has enough fascination
that will keep the reader going because it’s not boring.
I've grabbed two books
within arm’s reach, C. S. Lewis's, Out of
the Silent Planet, and J. K. Rowling's Harry
Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, and in them I find the first 150 words hooking
the born reader from the start. They aren’t action-packed scenes; they don’t dazzle
with wondrous description, offer any certainty of the importance of the
characters, or relate interior monologue. They start out small, as they must,
but they pique the interest.
Consider Lewis's Pedestrian.
He’s just evaded a drenching by taking shelter under a tree, and is concerned
to get to a place where he can stay the night (as evening is coming on) having
been denied accommodations in the town he just passed through. The POV is
omniscient, the Pedestrian is the protagonist, but we have no clue that that is
so, yet. We can't tell if this is going to be a mystery, a fantasy, or a
historical novel. Who cares. It's intriguing! It's slow, but again, who cares? The
intrigue is the hook and the bridge to what follows.
Rowling's opening starts out
with the Dursley's. They’re probably important, but there is no certainty as to
what role they will have. All we know is that they are a bunch of fuddy-duddies
who, if we knew them, would never expect them to be involved in anything
strange or mysterious. Now, that in itself is a strong hint that the story's going to be
about the unusual, but you don't know if it is going to be fantasy, science
fiction, or simply a series of ordinary events that taken together turn out to
be extremely odd. She devotes much to a description of Vernon and Petunia (though we don't know
their names yet), which props up their persona as prim and proper, ne'er-do-wrong, snobs. They’re intriguing characters, and you can’t help but keep
reading to satisfy that gnawing eagerness to see what’s going on.
Regarding the first 150
words, regardless of what kind of contract you think you have with the reader, the
thing you must do is intrigue him with the first sentence or two, and build on
it.
Here's Lewis's first
sentence:
The last drops of the thundershower had hardly ceased
falling when the Pedestrian stuffed his map into his pocket, settled his pack
more comfortably on his tired shoulders, and stepped out from the shelter of a
large chestnut-tree into the middle of the road.
No power-packed action or
breathtaking description. Simple, picturesque, and curious.
Here’s Rowling’s first
sentence:
Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive , were
proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.
My reaction: a smile and the
thought, Whoa, this ought to be good.
Here are more examples where
I think intrigue is at the heart of the opening lines. Some give a strong sense of what the genre is. Only two give it with any certainty.
Janner Igiby lay trembling in his bed with his eyes
shut tight, listening to the dreadful sound of the Black Carriage rattling
along in the moonlight.
--Andrew Peterson, On the Edge of the Dark Sea
of Darkness.
From a snug in the corner of the Museum Tavern,
Douglas Flinders-Petrie dipped a sop of bread into the gravy of his steak and
kidney pudding and watched the entrance to the British Museum
across the street.
--Stephen R. Lawhead, The Bone House.
It was nearing midnight and the Prime Minister was
sitting alone in his office, reading a long memo that was slipping through his
brain without leaving the slightest trace of meaning behind.
--J. K. Rowing, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he
would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of
special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.
--J. R. R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring.
Most everyone in Utah remembers 1896 as the year the
territory became a state. But in Adenville it was celebrated by all the kids in
town and by Papa and Mamma as the time of the The Great Brain’s reformation.
--John D. Fitzgerald, The Great Brain.
This is the story of an idea and how it played about
in the minds of a number of intelligent peoples.
--H. G. Wells, Star Begotten.
Keryn Wills was in the shower when she figured out
how to kill Josh Trenton.
--Randall Ingermanson, Double Vision.
“On a post. In a pond.”
Delaney said the words aloud, not because anyone
could hear him but because the words needed saying.
--George Bryan Polivka, Blaggard’s Moon.
The year 1866 was marked by a series of remarkable
incidents, and a mysterious phenomenon that excited people everywhere.
--Jules Verne, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
Here is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump,
bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin.
---A. A. Milne, The Complete Tales of Winnie the Pooh.
The Mole had been working very hard all the morning,
spring-cleaning his little home. First with brooms, then with dusters; then on
ladders and steps and chairs, with a brush and a pail of whitewash; till he had
dust in his throat and eyes, and splashes of whitewash all over his black fur,
and an aching back and weary arms.
---Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows.
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